Since coming to St. Paul’s, I’ve been stuck in a capitalist hellscape, but every night I have the same exact dream that has been keeping me sane for the 6 months I’ve been here. It goes like this:
It was a beautiful morning, the birds were singing suspiciously loud outside. I woke up and followed my morning routine, making a bowl of oatmeal and a cup of coffee with half-andhalf. As I was eating my breakfast, my phone went out of the scheduled “do not disturb” mode and busted into a cacophony of notification sounds and arbitrary vibration patterns. Something big has happened over the night. I wearily went to read the news. The headlines said something about Amazon, LLC, stopping work. “Why are people always so obsessed with a crash happening to a major website,” I thought to myself. As I proceeded to read the news, I couldn’t quite believe my eyes as words stopped making sense all of a sudden…
“Dow Jones is at its lowest historical point,“ announced the lady at CNN, “The Communist Manifesto and The Anarchist’s Handbook have risen up to top positions in national charts.”
“Bashar Asaad’s government has taken control over the Rebels’ troops, and Taliban has declared the end of its existence,” broadcasted NBC, “as it turns out the latter two relied vitally on Amazon’s two day delivery service as a supply of guns and ammunition.”
As I was strolling through the streets of Queens on my old Shkolnik bike, the crowds were gathered around the windows of electronics shops, listening to each and every news channel that was broadcasting in English. “… Inspections have not found the trace of Lenin’s body in the Mausoleum, people report seeing a suspicious bold figure with a goatee in Seattle’s airport,” I heard coming from the radio in an Ukranian store, Matryoshka.
“Movie theatres across the country are closing down due to the shortage of new releases,” a hulky voice from PBS was declaring, “North Korea is releasing all the movies they possess from hacking Sony for the next 17 years later this week, said Kim Jong-un in his message earlier today.”
“Chinese Yuan is trading 217 points higher than yesterday,” a solemn voice from BBC announced, “and the number of applications for US citizenship has dropped significantly since yesterday.”
“President Obama in his address to the citizens said, ‘We have seen many a hard times, but the crisis of today is the most significant one our country has ever encountered, but remember that in end we’ll rise above as we always do,’” says Fox News.
“Department stores all over the country are experiencing a shortage of rope and soap,” I heard coming from yet another news channel. The streets of New York City resembled a surrealistic Titanic, but this time there were no emergency boats to save the wealthiest and most powerful. The system was coming to its new equilibrium state; the money, power and energy were being redistributed. But I wasn’t worried. I got off my bike to check the time: 12:27. My other hand was in my coat pocket, seizing a sanguine colored rectangular piece of paper, which now had more powers than any of the bills in my wallet. It was a beautiful start of the day